Friday, March 7, 2008

Black Monday

Some of you may be wondering why I haven't updated my blog in awhile. Some of you may be wondering why you haven't received a February update Newsletter yet.

Some of you need to know what happened on that fateful Monday of March 2008.

It's too hard. I can't talk about it... but I must.

My hard drive crashed. My beautiful baby angel mac. My pride. My joy. My life. Gone.
I can't tell you the grief I've been through with this. I also can't tell you what exactly happened. So don't ask. Because I can't tell you, and it makes me sad/angry to talk about it. All I know is that I have lost all of my files with little to no hope of recovery.

Yes that's right. All of my files. All my photos, my music, my calendars, all of my work from SALI, and here's what hurts the most- I had all of my files from college on there. All my reports, and all of my interior design projects. It hurts. I can reinstall my operating system, but that erases whatever chance I had of recovering my files. That's like cutting off life support on someone in a coma. That says, "I'm giving up on you, files, you have no chance, You're dead to me. I'm forgetting you, and starting my new life with a new operating system."

If you think I'm being dramatic about this, then you probably aren't as attached to your computer as I am. My computer, though I did not spend every second on it, I spent a good chunk of my time on it. I used it for everything. For work mostly, and keeping myself organized. It had my agenda to show me what I needed to do, it had my grading sheets for my classes, it had my lesson plans so I knew what to teach, it had my class activities and conversation topics, so that we had stuff to do in class, it had my photos so that I could create an album of my life in Peru, it had my music to calm me down as I was working on everything, it had all of my work from college so that I could actually apply for jobs when I get back to the states. Basically, it had Gillian Baikie. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. And He tooketh my computer.

I've spent the majority of this week in a state of what I can only imagine to be depression. A part of me has died, and I don't think I can get it back. I'm going to call apple. Maybe they can offer me some solace of solution, but I doubt it. The outlook is grim. I think I'm just going to have to accept this and move on. Pray for me.

2 comments:

~marie said...

oh
oh oh how sorry i am for you. you are not at ALL being overly dramatic. this kind of thing IS serious.
i just told rob of your loss and he said, "that reminds me, we need to get an external hard drive for our new mac, so we can start backing it up."
so if it's helps at all, maybe you may save someone else from the same kind of loss- isn't that one thing that usually brings about healing?
anyway, so sorry -now go get yourself an external hard drive and use it often :0)

Anonymous said...

I so know the feeling. I had the same thing happen to me. Take care, you will survive and soon it will just be a sad, sad memory