Thursday Night Musings of a girl with everything and nothing to talk about

Sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with myself. All these changes that I have gone through, am going through, and will be going through seem to hit me all at once, and I think- What are you doing Gillian? Why on earth would you get involved in all the things you've gotten involved with in your life? Why would you leave your home to go to a university on the other side of the country; and then why would you leave your home and university again to go live on the other side of the equator? Why did you pick the major you did? Why did you leave the career path to do non profit work for 3 years? Why are you leaving that life soon too? Why why why? And these questions start to weigh on me, and I think...Gillian, You don't make any sense.

But then, I remember why I did all that and why I will do a lot of other crazy things in the future that may not ever make sense to me, let alone anyone else.

God chose this path for me. I am exactly where God wants me to be right now. Everything that has happened in my life has been ordained by God and I all I have to do is enjoy it and enjoy Him. And then my new question becomes "Why are you even asking why?"

So enjoy life I will. I will enjoy the small things, the quiet moments, moments like walking by a beautiful garden that smells of roses and honeysuckle; listening to the summer sounds in my neighborhood; holding a puppy; going to the beach; short friendly conversations with people that I don't know, but already consider them friends.

I will enjoy the big moments too, the life-changers; the graduations, the goodbyes, the moves, the not knowing where I will be a year from now, the not knowing where I will be two months from now, the milestones of new family members, new friends, and everything in between.

And by golly, I will enjoy it....whether I like it or not.