I is for I....am back!

After two days of traveling, three airplanes, 6 hours of layover in Miami, 15 hours of layover in Lima, and 96 pounds worth of luggage for the missionary families (and some for me) which included but was not limited to: Chocolate Chips, Books, Two Stuffed animal turkeys, Velour Lounge Suits, Candles, Coffee Filters, Dance Leotards, a macbook pro, Saffron Rice, Peanut Butter M&Ms, and Batman Costume complete with mask (no...unfortunately not for me) I have returned to my Peruvian home of Trujillo. Phew!

Today is my first day back of teaching, and so far I'm 0 for 2 when it comes to actually teaching. My first class had no students, my second class had 1 student. Third class hopefully will be a charm. Actually I know for a fact that my third class will be a charm because it is one of my all-time favorite classes at SALI. I spent 3 cycles with this class, and then last month could not teach them because of my U.S. travels, and now am going to be "Reunited and it feeeeels so goood!"

My trip to the US was great. I looooooved seeing all my friends again and getting to catch up with so many people! It was nice to also have a "test run" for when I actually go back to the United States for real next July. WHICH, I figured out is why I was so very nervous about traveling to the US in the first place, because I was trying to see what it would be like to leave for good. The second I stepped on the plane I opened my sketchbook to write down my thoughts about leaving. Here's a little peek:

I don't even know where to begin...I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. I was super nervous about the possibility of there being a problem in Lima with me trying to leave the country for some ridiculous random reason...How strange it is to me that I have been planning this trip so long and expecting and anticipating it and suddenly it has arrived and my anticipation now seems so foreign to me. Even stranger, the thought has crossed my mind many times that this trip is like a "prueba" (trial run) of what it will be like when I leave Peru for good. I've tried to be in tune with my emotions as I leave, like I'm trying to become familiar with a Jackson Pollock painting. I try my best to study it, but in the end I won't be sure what the best method is for remembering it. Do I look at only the general picture and try to remember only the overall image without trying to know the specifics? Or do I intensely study individual lines or splatters of paint, hoping that by getting the fundamentals, I will be able to build something vaguely similar? Of course now what really scares me is that as of about 10 minutes ago, my life in Peru somehow seems like a memory. Only a memory. I am no longer experiencing it daily, but rather remembering people and places and sights and smells and textures and sounds. And perhaps these thoughts are too dramatic. After all, I'm not going to the US forever. I will be there for 9 days and then I will return to the normalcy of my Peruvian life. I know that at least I have 8 more months of my time in Peru, but down in my heart I know what's really scaring me is that one day, this flight will be the end and that my Peruvian life will truly be nothing more than a memory that I will desperately try to recall. And it will make me sad that I can only recall it, and not experience it. I'm so emotionally invested. I can't leave so easily.

Sooooo...looking back, I was pretty freaked out on that plane. Hehe I'm a lot less freaked out now. This US trip was good for me to at least get a glimpse of the future, I feel a lot more prepared now, and I know that yes. It will be incredibly difficult to leave, but not impossible.
So there you have it. That's what was going on emotionally. Take it or leave it.